My Grandmother, my mamaw

When I was growing up there were only whispers of the ‘other’ side of our ancestry.  We heard that my great-grandmother was disowned for marrying a Native. To this day we still don’t know the whole truth and are seeking information from any and all sources available.  I had a talk with my mom today and I asked her what my grandfather’s fascination with the Black Hills was and she told me it wasn’t him, it was my grandmother.  She was horribly upset by Wounded Knee.  I also was told that she had wanted to go and be with her people on Alcatraz.  I cannot imagine my grandfather doing anything other than going ballistic over this.  What I would like to know and will think to ask next time was which Wounded Knee or both?  I do not know if her upset was before or after Wounded Knee 1973.  I also would like to understand why this is the site she wanted to see and did so she could pay respect to the ancestors. Little has been said and volumes have been left unspoken about some of my family’s history and I am very curious about more relations that I may have the honor to know of while I am still on Mother Earth to learn these things.

You told me not long before you passed to the other side that there were many things you wanted to tell me and in my youth and denial and fear of losing you, I said to you, ‘don’t talk like that, you’re not going away.’  I cannot go back and change that and wish I had had the heart and soul then to listen to what you wanted to tell me.

I love you mamaw, you are my heart, you are the reason I love the way I do.  I will be forever be thankful for this gift.  Love ruled your heart and filled your life.  Truer words were never spoken.


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